I have been reading Lysa Turkeurst’s book It’s Not Supposed to be this Way lately, and one theme that keeps rising to the surface is that there is a huge difference between our definition of good and God’s.  We think life is good when it is easy, when our jeans slide on with no effort and our hair isn’t nappy.  When the kids appreciate our labor and the house is immaculate.  When our body feels good, and our mind is at peace.  But what about when our muffin top is flopping over the waist band, our kids are insensitive, our house looks like it’s been robbed, our body aches, and our mind is anything but peaceful?  John 16:33 says in this world you will have trouble, so drama is a given.  But it is possible to be still and know that He is God even when life is hurling curve balls at us left and right.  How do you see the goodness in the mayhem?  You count your blessings.  It isn’t always easy because our flesh wants to indulge in a pity party, but the good always outweighs the bad if we take the time to notice.  As we choose to thank God for what He has given us, we draw closer to Him in the process (Psalm 100:4-5).  There is much that I don’t understand about eternity, but I know that this life is a proving ground for what awaits on the other side.  God is more interested in our perfection than our comfort because there is work to do on this side of the veil and ever after, and a stout heart is required for both.  So we trust that God’s good is best even when it doesn’t feel that way.  We choose joy which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, not a response to life.  

Today my husband and I were slated to go to town to look at something for our kitchen. A friend was supposed to meet us before we headed off; only, he didn’t show. . . .for like 20 minutes.  Laid-back people will think, “It’s 20 minutes.  What’s the big deal?”  But time management is a huge thing for me.  I am a time ninja, carefully chopping hourly slots, kicking obstacles aside, stealthily leaping from point A to point B in a single bound, acutely focused on fitting everything within the confines of my agenda.In the moments that dragged as we waited, kicking something sounded pretty good right now.   Frustrated, I headed to the back of my hub’s building to do some prayer walking; well, if I’m being honest, I was pacing and blowing off steam while reminding myself that God was working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). . .even this unnecessary, inconsiderate waiting.  I told Adam later that I treat my time like I am an important person when evidence points to the contrary.  Truth be told, there was nowhere that I had to be; my list was present, but it was negotiable.  So why the time crunch?  Because I desperately want to go somewhere with my life, and I don’t want to waste my time getting there.  The only problem is that I don’t know where “there” is.  God has whispered some things to my heart, enough to ward me off from returning to my former career, but He hasn’t opened the door to a new one, so I am stuck in this limbo space of time.  Sure, I am productive in the meantime, working jobs and doing life, but there’s a difference between being productive and effective.  I realized at one point during the 20-minutes-that-felt-like-50 that I was actually pacing like a caged animal.  Literally pacing.  This waiting scene was a metaphor for where I am in life right now; maybe that’s the reason why I reacted so harshly.   Fortunately, the seed of Romans 8:28 took root while I was muttering it on my rant walk.  God does see me.  I am not forgotten, overlooked, or unloved.  My agenda might seem trivial at this moment, but His agenda for my life is not.  I just have to hold on, seek Him in the limbo time, and trust that He is working while I wait.

Has fear ever thrown a little party in your head?  Fear seems to be an innocent houseguest, but it always brings LOTS of friends, and within moments, your mental real estate is overrun with toxic transients.  The first to arrive are worrisome thoughts, and they seem innocuous enough to be allowed to linger.  But close behind are anxiety, control, paranoia, panic and more.  When fear comes knocking, we must be ready because he slides in unaware, disguised as a necessary preventative.  It appears wise to count the cost, and that’s true, but often we allow that stream of consciousness to flow farther than it should and suddenly a panoramic picture of what-ifs is scrolling through your mind.  Eventually, we reckon that if it’s dangerous, then it should be avoided altogether, and fear steals our lives away one adventure at a time.  We opt for the safe path, the one with no frills, no memories, no legacy, and in the end when we are old and gray, we understand the phrase “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  Fear is a liar, creating scenes that probably will never play out on life’s stage, and if they do, they will be far less dramatic.    So when it floods our minds, how do we fight back?  Well, in that fear is a spirit (II Timothy 1:7), we must counterattack spiritually, with the Sword of the Spirit from Ephesians 6.  When a thought bubbles up to the surface, we replace fear’s lies with God’s Truth.  If we suppress thoughts and emotions, they will erupt at some point, so I try to remember this— address instead of suppress. For every problem, God’s Word has an answer, so we must renew our mind to God’s Word so that satan’s tall tales don’t muddy the waters of our grey matter.   It’s best to keep the door of our heart and head dead-bolted and trust none of fear’s compatriots.

Have you ever felt that you were relegated to the bench when you were itching to get on the field?  I have been there!  Now, I am not an athlete by any means.  Even though I am taller than the average girl, my lack of speed/skill becomes apparent with virtually any game.  When team sports are on the agenda, I quickly volunteer to be the cheerleader.  (My coordination might be questionable, but my loud mouth is not.) Spiritually, though, the “field” is my life.  A pastor’s daughter from the womb, church ministry has always been a part of my DNA.  Teach a Sunday school class?  Of course.  Lead worship?  You got it!  Direct the church cantata?  Been there.  But when it comes to making ministry a career choice, the doors just haven’t been open.  There are times when God says “not yet” to our desires.  Maybe we are waiting on Him, but most often I believe that He is waiting on us.  Most of the great leaders of the Bible were relegated to the wilderness for years so that the character they would need for the next season could be forged.  What do we do in the waiting?  We wait in faith.  We wait in obedience.  We  stay pliable and open to God-ordained detours.  We keep serving God and others, realizing that Hebrews 11:6 says that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  No matter how long our wilderness lasts, we look for the rivers in the desert that Isaiah 43:19 talks about.  I love the story of Moses because he was used most for the kingdom when by worldly standards he was a washed-up has-been.  I can certainly identify that that.  When more of your successes are in the rearview mirror, it’s tempting to put yourself out to pasture, but that’s often when God is preparing you for the next level.  So if you are on the bench, determine to serve others there.  Tend those around you, support the players on the field, serve the Coach, keep your uniform washed and ready, and one day your name will be called!

Have you ever felt that you were skipped while standing in the spiritual line?  Maybe you have been faithful to a ministry for years, pouring your blood, sweat, and tears into your calling, and suddenly some young whipper-snapper comes along and rises to the top, leaving you feeling as though God has forgotten you.  They tell their story of struggling in the process for all of five years, while you remember being in that same process when they were in diapers.  

The truth is, life isn’t always fair down here.  Many who experience success in the world or in the church spout platitudes on “how they did it,” and it is tempting to think that their prescription for promotion in the Kingdom will work every time. But for everyone who succeeds, there are many others who have had similar vision, stood in faith, stared at impossibilities, run with excellence, but have not experienced the fairy tale ending . . .yet. 

I think that we underestimate the value of the afterlife.  Some suppose that we will sit around on clouds strumming harps in Heaven, but Scripture says nothing of the sort.  We will be ruling and reigning with Christ, and though I can’t picture that, it sounds pretty cool.   Jesus spoke of rewards and being faithful in a few things to become ruler over many.  He bestowed more talents to those who stewarded them well.  How does this all translate?  I have no idea.  But I trust that God will honor His Word either here or in eternity.  

I can’t control every part of life, but I can control my response to it. My part is to seek Christ with all that I am.  I can dream with Him, believe that He is a Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6), praise Him endlessly for the fact that He saved me when He didn’t have to, and live a life of choosing contentment while moving forward in faith.  I can honestly rejoice with others who get ahead while I wait, and I can glean hope from their stories.  

I have heard it said that life is a journey, not a destination, and I believe that this is true.  If I achieve everything that the world has to offer, but I am estranged from Christ, then I have won nothing.   Paul wrote in Philippians 3:7-9a—7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him.  Well said, Paul.  Well said.

Today at church we talked about the power of focus.  I was reminded of Genesis 30 where we find a somewhat strange story of Jacob exposing the whites of trees and poplar rods and putting them before the superior goats while they were conceiving at the watering troughs.  I mean, who does that, right?  But it worked!  What the goats beheld had something to do with what they produced.   I believe that the same is true in our lives.  If we want to walk in God’s best, then instead of allowing our circumstances, feelings, and questions to sideline us, we fix our eyes on His Promises.  (Proverbs 4:20-22)

My husband just bought me a me a new computer, yet here I sit, pecking out my thoughts on my old one.  Why?  Because I like the comfort of the keys, the familiarity with which I navigate the pages, and, well, I just don’t love change.  Crazy, right?  I have a faster, cutting-edge, glittering computer within arm’s reach, but I am using the one that is quite fond of stalling out and saying “Not Responding” as I stare with twitching eyes at the same screen for longer than my thinning patience allows.  It’s funny how we sometimes prefer the familiar over the convenient.  The old way becomes our security blanket that we drag around–dust mites, bacteria, tattered edges and all—until one day someone does us a favor and throws out the old and forces us to upgrade.  Enter God.  He often calls me away from familiar territory, and, honestly, I don’t always come right away.  Sometimes I linger in the shadows and second-guess what He has said in my heart until finally the thought of missing His best thrusts me out into the open. In Isaiah 43:19, God says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  So we determine to leave the old behind and press forward to the new things that God has for us.  Is it scary?  Yep.  But is His best way worth it?  For sure!

Fear and intimidation can be an amazingly powerful duo, and many of us deal with them on a daily basis. The moment we see someone who seems smarter, prettier, more successful, the insecure teenager from yesteryear comes stomping to the surface.  I have come to understand that confidence must rest on Who He is in me, not who I am in and of myself.  Otherwise, my confidence soars or plummets based on where I am, whom I see, and what I am feeling, and that, my friends, is a roller coaster of emotions!

What if we really lived for an audience of One?  How freeing would it be to dance through life singularly focused on pleasing the One Who is already pleased with us?  His thoughts about us are more than the grains of sand (Psalm 139:18).  He knows the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30), even the hairs that have been dyed so many times that they’re not sure of their original color. 🙂  He has seen all of my sin and selfishness and still paid the highest price to win my heart.

I believe that if we abandoned ourselves in His Love, all of the toxic self-analyses and inhibitions would melt away.  Dwelling in the Secret Place in His Presence is what we were designed for (Psalm 91), and anything less undermines the abundant life that He purposed for us.  So, let’s keep running toward Him, and in doing so, we can leave fear and intimidation behind!

Have you ever had a series of trials crash over your life with no warning? From placid waters to a tsunami in moments, peace and calm can feel very temporary and fragile, right? Many times we come away from trials with baggage, fear, and anxiety.  What if the next wave is worse?  What if I fail and sink in the chaos?  Trials can shatter our safe world, and we’re just not sure how to put it back together again.    I have been there.  Three years ago, my world went topsy-turvy through a hard season.  In that time, we lost my father, I faced some major health battles, and waded through disillusionment and disappointment with God.  Even now, I realize that I am not immune to the storms of life.  In fact, in Matthew 5:45 Jesus said, “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.”  So what do we do with the lingering fears from the last wave?  Many choose to square their shoulders, put on a good front, and quietly battle the darkness alone, allowing their wounds to become more infected and toxic by the day.  Obviously, that’s a train wreck in the making.  So … we have to choose to come to God with the grief, the questions, the anxiety, and invite Him to give us new perspective, strength, grace, and comfort.  At some point, we realize that faith is the antidote for fear.  Fear brings torment, and it will stomp around our minds as long as we allow it to, but time in God’s Word will both override the fear with faith and prepare us for future battles.  I have learned that we can either be marked by the trials of life  . . .or by the victory and growth that we glean from them.