Envy

Envy, the green eyed monster that saunters into all of our lives at some point, knocked at my door recently. I granted him access to my mind for a couple of moments, but fortunately the Holy Spirit reeled me back in quickly. Here’s the story: I was glancing over an article from a major magazine where they highlighted a mom who had done it all. She had brains, beauty, a stellar acting career, talk shows, a book—all of this and more while raising a brood of teenagers. As my eyes darted across the lines of the writeup, envy began coursing. Her resume included things that were all in my wheelhouse. I had accomplished many of the same milestones, yet she graced the cover of a magazine and I was reading about her instead of cleaning my bedroom which desperately demanded attention. I would love to say that I never compare, but that would be an outright lie, and ain’t nobody got time for untruths these days. Fortunately, like I said, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, and one line from Him turned envy on its head. He reminded me that temporary applause from the world means nothing in light of eternity. Sure, we may garner some attagirls and accolades this side of Heaven, but if they’re not in line with God’s calling and purpose for us, we can miss the rewards for what we were destined to do. If I am not careful, I get spiritual amnesia, forgetting what really matters. The pull of pride and vanity and selfish ambition is so strong for a dreamer such as I, so it is a constant battle to build His kingdom, not my own (Matthew 6:33). The silver lining of my 5-minute wrestling match with envy is how quickly it was over. God has been doing a deep work in my heart over the past few years, so my spiritual antenna is better tuned to hear HIs gentle Voice of correction. His Word has renewed my mind to understand His priorities instead of what society is dishing out. I have a long way to go, and I’m sure that I haven’t had my last encounter with envy, but his taunts are growing more distant. My eyes are on Heaven and Heaven’s eyes are on me. I don’t know how much longer we have until Christ returns, but I suspect that it is soon. I can’t afford to take my eyes off of the goal. I am running this race to hear “Well done, Good and Faithful Servant,” (Matthew 25:23) and the rewards of a life lived for HIs glory will endure f o r e v e r.